On an ordinary Monday morning, coffee downed, I decided it was time to renew my poor, neglected blog. It’s been calling my name for a while now, but I gave it a telepathic sedative and told it to calm down. “It’s not your turn.” It had the audacity to ignore me.
So, here we are.
I’m staring the age of 67 in the face and will celebrate that occasion in less than one month. I thoroughly enjoy being 66 and, although I can’t quite put my finger on the reason, I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that I took the time to do a lot of soul searching and make some changes. Not unlike that long stretch of nostalgic American highway, my personal “Route 66” provided some beautiful scenery, but also offered some unforeseen bumps on an otherwise smooth road. This year of life kept me on my toes by way of those few unexpected twists and turns and left me with lots to think about. After all, what’s the point of any journey if not to glean a few decent life lessons?
I decided to make living my life with intention a priority, and with that decision came the need to identify the things that were doing more harm than good.
First up, social media.
Rest stops along the way
According to an article I read by Provision Living, based on a survey of 1,000 Boomers and 1,000 Millennials, Boomers spend an average of five hours per day on smartphones. That’s just slightly under the 5.7 hours spent by Millennials. Of those hours, Boomers spent most of their online time scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, Mail, Messenger, and texting, while our young counterparts were using Facebook, Instagram, talking on their phones, texting, and surfing the net. Millennials were apt to listen to podcasts whereas Boomers were not.
The study indicates to me that we Boomers primarily use social media to stay connected to our outside world –– no doubt, keeping up with friends and family. This is fine in theory but is also a watered-down substitution for one-on-one interactions.
Fortune.com reports as of 2024, Americans between the ages of 18 and 80 spend an average of seven hours and three minutes (but who’s counting?) online per day, which exceeds 18 years of their adult lives.** Letting my head wrap around that estimate became a defining moment.
It was time to unplug.
I had become a slave to FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Whether it was news, Facebook, Instagram or any other of my online vices, the truth is I was spending way too much time being bombarded by information, mostly incorrect, that I can do nothing about. I usually found myself in a mood that was less desirable than the mood I was in when I entered my password and began my daily iPad rituals.
I grew tired of inflammatory political rants during a time when we, as a nation, are already dangerously polarized. I didn’t want to waste my time on dramatic click baits and anger-mongering opinions designed to lure people into “armchair quarterback” type arguments.
The icing on the cake came when I discovered there are bots out there designed for that exact purpose. Yes, “hate-baiting” is now an actual thing.
I silenced my notifications, limited my time on Facebook and Instagram and made a pledge to myself to scroll only a far as the first needlessly inflammatory post. It didn’t take long. Granted, most of my personal social media friends post uplifting, informative, funny, engaging updates that I enjoy tremendously, but there are those intent on relentlessly spewing things I’m just better off not reading. I nearly wore out the Hide for 30 Days option. After those 30 days, I realized those same people were still at it, almost daily. Poof! Gone again, hidden for the next 30 days. Problem solved.
We are all blessed with freedom of speech, of that I am aware. However, constantly penning fiery, disrespectful political posts, writing negative, judgmental comments slamming certain demographics, or attempting emotional manipulation through click-baiting will continue to land those fellow Facebookers in my trusty Hide for 30 Days bin. You have the right to say/share whatever you choose. And I have the right to disregard/hide whatever sucks the joy out of a media platform that originally started as a fun way to connect with others. With regards to political posting, I have no problem with generic political posts that encourage people to vote, etc. My issue is with the character assassination posts that are never fact-checked before hitting the Share button.
As for me, I'm content to let my vote be my voice.
I suppose the last straw was when AI and Meta started replacing original thoughts. It soon became obvious which posts were computer generated versus which were authentic. I decided I didn’t want to read “perfect” posts. Give me good, old-fashioned brain-generated posts, filled with a few misspellings and the occasional grammatical error any day. Those imperfections prove we’re human.
Eventually, I gave up and stopped posting regularly to Facebook–– replacing social media with Podcasts, Ted Talks, YouTube instructional videos and music. Immediately, I had time to read a good book, paint, design cards, garden and write. Only recently was I ready to cautiously return to occasional Facebook updates. This, after several friends I don't see often checked to make sure I was still on the topside of the dirt. I assured them I was not un-alive, and then went back to things like listening to music while wielding a dust cloth with supper on the stove–– a more productive use of time than scrolling aimlessly. (Note: housekeeping pairs well with Bob Seger.)
Tell me where you’ve been, what you’ve been doing, what you’re cooking, creating or reading. Let me know about your accomplishments. Make me laugh, show me your flowers, garden, kids, grandchildren or pets. Share with me your hobbies, ideas, positive thoughts and photos of sunsets, vacations, and old homes on winding roads.
Show me your “Route 66”. And then I’ll be more apt to show you mine. And if my posts ever offend you or become something that brings you down or spikes your blood pressure into the stroke danger zone, feel free to Hide Connie Strong for 30 Days.
What I ate while “on the road”
Down every highway, there’s usually a fast food dive every few miles. The temptations for delicious greasy burgers and fries that guarantee goodness, with fat and cholesterol oozing out of their flimsy wrappers onto your vehicle seats are endless, and sometimes too enticing to pass by. But, traveler, beware.
I try my best to eat right most of the time, but some days I fail miserably. I don’t drink, don’t touch recreational drugs, smoke, or overly indulge in sweets. But can I pass up a taco? No, nope. I’ve never met a chip I didn’t like and trying to convince myself that tofu tastes like whatever you put with it is a no-go. Fortunately, the flipside is I prefer salads and veggies to steaks and potatoes, and I’ve learned that half fruit juice and half sparkling water is not a shabby substitute for Cokes when you’re craving sugary fizz.
I’ve switched from a regular cup ’o joe to mushroom coffee* and found I prefer the flavor and love the health benefits. This switch, however, brought with it a hilarious interpretation from both of my sons. “OMG! Mom is into ’shrooms!” (So much for that above reference to recreational drugs… busted!)
I am, however, a firm believer that vacation calories and birthday calories don’t count. You’re only going to pass this way once and it seems kind of wrong to be using your last breath to eke out, “Darn. I should have had that cupcake.”
Road map for better living
My Route 66 brought about a huge change in sleep routines. I am, by nature, a night owl –– in the past, literally writing until the wee morning hours if I was at deadline. I'm still writing but have forced myself to be in bed by 10:30, up by 7-ish. It was pure torture at first, but I’m determined. My phone is silenced from 9:45 PM to 7:30 AM and I no longer reach for it as soon as my eyes open. One of my best friends told me her mother once said, “Turn your phone off after 10 PM. If I’m dead at 2:00 AM, I’ll still be dead when you wake up.” Word.
I’m fairly devoted to exercise and try my best to get in 30-45 minutes of movement five days a week. My German genetics are never going to allow me to be “thin” by the usual standards, but staying active helps me easily motor through my life without difficulty and I can still shop until others drop, so there’s that. On days when I absolutely can’t get going, I remind myself that there are those I know who would love to be well enough to do anything at all that’s physical. And so I lace up my shoes…
One of the most beneficial changes this past year of life was a rededication to mindfulness. This was not a huge leap because I’ve always enjoyed simple pleasures, but what I’ve realized is that there’s a big difference between chugging a cup of coffee on the way out and savoring the rich, aromatic flavors that get noticed more readily when watching the world go by from the quiet comfort of the back porch swing.
Don't be afraid to purge those habits in life that steal your joy. There’s something almost sacred in taking the time to realize that the flowers you dead-head today will bring forth new blooms “tomorrow”, and realizing it’s all part of the journey.
The speed bumps of friendship
One of the most eye-opening facts of life came to me when I finally came to terms with knowing that not all friendships are built to last. Some “epic fails” will blindside you so severely that it will knock you to your knees if you let it.
People with whom we started our journey may not be the ones with whom we arrive at our destinations. They change. We change. That’s a tough pill to swallow.
Some friendships simply fade away, others end due to distance, influence of others, maturity/lack of maturity, jealousy, political/religious beliefs, imbalance of investment into the relationship, or unfulfilled expectations. One or two may end very poorly, bringing with its demise a near-nuclear voltage of irreparable anger and pain.
I doubt any of us has made it this far without some very harsh hurts. And surely, we must be wise enough to realize we have hurt others, as well. Repair what you can, accept what cannot be fixed. I don’t look back with regret on the very few friendships that have ended badly. It makes more sense to forgive, remember the good times, and move on–– but keep the lesson.
With age comes wisdom. With wisdom comes knowing we should never allow ourselves to be used, disrespected, ignored; nor should we be foolishly willing to stick our hand in a raging fire, thinking this time we won’t get burned. If past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, we WILL get burned. It's better to understand some people must be loved from a safe distance. Easier said than done, of course, “once the rubber meets the road”.
Tempted to entertain a vengeful attitude? Just don’t. Take the gained wisdom and let time and circumstance handle the rest. Give it up to the Higher Power. He’ll be awake all night anyway.
All in all, I’m fortunate to have a wealth of wonderful friends, most of whom I’ve been blessed to have for many, many years. This year, I’ve gained several new friends, some of whom are now a very important part of my life. I cherish all those relationships, and wish my lost friends well, from the safety net of time and space.
Where the highway ends
Route 66 covers 2400 miles across 2/3 of the US. Its very existence transformed lives, and what remains of it links our past to the present. The World Monuments Fund and the Natural Trust for Historic Places list The Mother Road as one of the 100 most endangered cultural sites.
My personal Route 66 has likewise changed my life in many ways and, sadly, is now on my personal list of endangered elements. It, too, will soon link my past to my present—and future. My Mother Road year has had its share of hairpin turns, potholes, tons of detours and numerous opportunities to veer off the beaten path. But all in all, it’s been a great ride. Looks like I’ll arrive safe and sound, in one piece.
Come September 14, I’ll be on the road again; this time, by way of Route 67. Rest assured, I’m choosing wisely what/who’ll be riding shotgun along the way.
And I can’t wait to see where the road leads.
Travel on,
Connie
The mushroom coffee I use is Ryze. I strongly suggest using a frother for mixing to ensure that it's dissolved. Check with your doctor before using if you have health concerns. I am in no way affiliated with Ryze.
For more information on the social media study or Route 66, please visit:
** Information/statistics regarding study findings vary greatly. These are only two of many.
Photos not taken by me are part of a current, purchased plan through 123RF.
I couldn't agree more (in theory, if not in practice) with your comments on social media. I've ranted on your blog before about the dangers of early cell phone use, and the correlation between the rising use of cell phones and adolescent anxiety and depression. Forty years of pediatric practice provided a front row seat for the largest social experiment in history....it's not going so well, so far. I do admire your ability to stick with your mindfullness, mediation intentions. I share your goals, but not your tenacity. I have repeatedly tried to instill a morning routine of meditation, journaling, and Bible study. None of my attempts have lasted any longer than my diet plans or exercise regimens- that is, mo…